SIRIUS SATELLITE RADIO & A RANT BY MARK

When we had the boat built we had Sirius Satellite Radio and Weather hard wired into the boat’s systems. We have delayed activating it until now as we have been on the River System most of the time and weather was not really a big factor. But now with a major portion of the travel on the Gulf of Mexico and the  Atlantic Ocean and the East Coast of North America after that. It only made sense to activate it.
 I had awesome Electronics Technician named Scott who is from New Orleans aboard this afternoon finalizing  other minor electronic changes and upgrades. I thought it prudent to ask him to stay and help me ensure a swift and easy process with Sirius Satellite Radio/Weather. Scott agreed and of course we were away to the races. Or were we? Hmm! of course not, this is a boat, I am writing a blog and I need something to amuse me for the afternoon (not).

Well Scott had the phone number for Sirius Satellite Radio and it is just a matter of calling them and setting up an account and activating our radio and weather systems.  Sounds simple, as I am a veteran of the Bell Canada vs. common sense wars. Terri can attest to the amount they have contributed to my personal requirement for blood pressure medication.  Perfect I thought as Scott has performed this most simple of operations before. Of course this is a clock work operation and a mere formality as  Sirius performs this operation on a continuous basis. It is their business and they need the money I hear. The economy you know!

Scott gave me the phone number for Sirius and after five minutes of explaining my objectives to the girl, she wanted me to discuss this with someone else. ??? I think the “boat” word scared her. So after another four minutes with another Sirius person, as I have refined my desires down to a more manageable time frame and things are understood and all we need now are the formalities. You know, address, credit card numbers, etc. etc.

Now Sirius has a great system where every piece of equipment comes with a Sirius identifying code number. Well labeled and easy to read on the various instruments that require their Satellite service.  Corporate boardroom thinking that works, unlike many products that seem to want to hide pertinent instructions, serial numbers etc.

The last bit of information she required is my Zip code. Well as I am from Canada we call them Postal Codes. Oh no sorry, she apologizes. The computer won’t accept letters as in Canadian Postal Codes, only numbers as in U.S. Zip Codes.  Well I am in the United States and it has been done before, I am sure. What about the rest of the world? Are all people who traverse this great planet from the USA? Hmm she informs me that it really is impossible, can’t be done.  OK I say so what are my options? Well you can call Sirius Canada and I am sure they can satisfy you. OK I say and promise to call Sirius Canada as I really need this service. Thank you for calling Sirius Radio as she signs off.

1 800 O Canada and I am now talking to another Sirius representative.  Only this time from North of the 49^th parallel.  Same accent on the phone, but a different company, as according to Sirius Canada they are not in any way shape or form related to Sirius USA. I give the Credit Card number and address and even answer the same technical questions. Great, I am signed up and the signals are sent to both the Radio Receiver and the Weather Receiver. The Radio Receiver receives the satellite signal and soon the sweet sounds of Orleans and the song Dance With Me, fill the cabin. I recognize this song as a memorable courting song from the seventies when Terri and I…...  (My mind wanders)………..But back to reality as the weather information refuses to download on the chart plotter. All of the codes are correct and we acknowledge that the satellite signal has been sent and confirmed on our plotter. But where is the pertinent information Scott and I ask? What channel are you on Miss Canada asked in her heavy accent. The weather channel Scott replies. But what channel is that she asks again? Now Scott a man of infinite patience and pure southern charm replies The weather channel, and there is only one. “Hmm”, we hear through my speaker phone on my minute eating cell phone. But what channel is the weather channel? Scott and I must not break ranks and respond the weather channel and again Scott offers to her that there is only one weather channel. It is not like a radio with different channels. Again we hear Hmm, I wonder, if, is, maybe, Hmm? Is it? Could it be? Hmm? Let me put you on hold while I check my resources for a solution to this challenge? OK I say as I have lots of cell phone minutes to spare. Earlier in the day I had mortgaged my house in order to pay the data and phone minutes combined with my favorite all Canadian phone company. Miss Canada is back in a flash or in less than a dollars’ worth of cell phone minutes with the news. We can’t, don’t, offer this service as we don’t have weather in Canada.  Now those of you that know me,  know that I ……………. Perhaps you are wrong, and could I please speak to your supervisor? One moment please sir! After 5 minutes she returns with the bad news. There is no supervisor available.   But sir I don’t know who will be on duty when and besides I might not be on duty when they are on duty. Leave a note I suggest. To whom, she replies. The next on duty supervisor my voice straining now. Hmm, Sir could I put you on hold while I review my resources?  I agree (a week moment or a sense of capitulation encourage me).  Five more minutes have been offered to the Bell Canada minute gods before Miss Canada returns.  Great news sir as a supervisor has just arrived. Same channel, same excuses prompt me to cut the conversation short. Mr. Supervisor Sir, I would like to cancel my subscription with Sirius Canada. OK he says we will cancel the Weather Subscription and just carry ion with the Radio Subscription. Negative I say, cancel them both with no charges, as it has been less than 30 minutes that the radio subscription has been active. But sir… OK I understand. Sirius Canada & I have parted ways.

NEW SIRIUS MUSIC RECEIVER

SNAP SHOT OF THE REAL TIME WEATHER PATTERNS FROM SIRIUS WEATHER

WRITTEN WARNINGS JUST POP UP ON THE PLOTTER SCREEN

Now for the last little while I have been entertaining  Scott as he has been monitoring my conversation and has reconnected with Sirius USA. All I need is a USA Zip code and we are good to go. Now my desire to have Scott aboard for further trouble shooting purposes out ways my desire to reform Sirius Canada/USA and there ways. Scott can and will make things work. Sirius Radio not so much. Now I am again courting Sirius USA and my ace in the hole is my good friend Glenn. While he is Canadian he keeps an address in Florida. WITH A ZIP CODE. I take advantage of Glenn and exploit his precious code. Even though it will never be used as every pound of flesh will be extracted in advance via credit card. All correspondence between Sirius and myself will be completed through email. Glenn should entertain no extra junk mail. I think, and if I am wrong Glenn I owe you a pop. As the nice girl on the other end of the phone and I are waiting for the signals to be completely transmitted between their Satellite and my receiver we make small talk. Where you from she asks? Ontario I say. I knew it, she said Canadian eh! How did you know? Your accent she says. Where are you from I return the question?  Nova Scotia she replies. Oh a real Blue Noser eh! Now to the unfamiliar, calling a Nova Scotian a Blue Noser is indeed a huge complement. She giggled! Where in Nova Scotia do you hail from I asked? Cape Breton she replies. Really, I say my Mom was born in Glace Bay. Cool she says right around the corner sort of thing. What city do you work out of for Sirius Radio? Cape Breton she again replies. I think to myself you are a Canadian working for an American Company. You're armed with only a postal code. You without a Zip Code! How can this be? But the down load has been completed and it is 1730. Scott has to go and I am getting hungry.

Terri what’s for supper?

Cheers,

Mark